I just got Professor Scott's feedback concerning my essay.
I really liked how the feedback started out positive and then transitioned into what I need to work on during the revision process. She positively commented on my introduction, which I really tried to make personal but also informative in this essay. Her positive feedback encouraged me to try that strategy again in future essays.
I thought the criticism was fair and constructive. In high school, my English teachers would write all over my essays, telling me that this and that was written poorly and needed to be changed. Their comments would leave me confused as to why those problem areas needed to be changed and how I could go about doing it. I thought it was very helpful that Professor Scott included suggestions to help me revise areas that could use some improvement. She also noted how those problem areas left her feeling as a reader, whether it be confused, deceived, etc. I'm glad I have her feedback and after re-reading those problem sections, I can now see why she feels that way. I'll definitely be using her revision suggestions.
In future writing, I'll be sure to try and avoid doing what I did wrong in this essay. I'll try to keep each body paragraph balanced and make an effort to keep including transitions that aren't too blunt but keep the writing organized. ( I was really conscious of that in this essay).
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Essay Feedback
This is just in response to the essay classmate feedback assignment (the letter). I'd just like to say how helpful I thought it was! (Thanks for your feedback Angie!)
Normally the only person that revises my essays is myself, and sometimes that isn't the most effective revision process. Sometimes I miss things, don't realize I'm making a confusing point, etc etc. Having another classmate review what I had written was a huge help, it gave me another perspective and new ideas to consider. It was also a confidence boost to see that another person thought I did a few things well. I also liked the letter format. The letter made everything seem more personal. I also think revising other student's work was a helpful exercise. It taught me what to look for in strong essays, and how important a clear purpose is throughout the essay. It also was great practice in giving constructive criticism.
I think my final essay is a lot better now after receiving the feedback than it would have been without doing this assignment.
Normally the only person that revises my essays is myself, and sometimes that isn't the most effective revision process. Sometimes I miss things, don't realize I'm making a confusing point, etc etc. Having another classmate review what I had written was a huge help, it gave me another perspective and new ideas to consider. It was also a confidence boost to see that another person thought I did a few things well. I also liked the letter format. The letter made everything seem more personal. I also think revising other student's work was a helpful exercise. It taught me what to look for in strong essays, and how important a clear purpose is throughout the essay. It also was great practice in giving constructive criticism.
I think my final essay is a lot better now after receiving the feedback than it would have been without doing this assignment.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
What is a good essay?
Since there is no clear cut definition of what an essay truly is, I think strong essays can be many things. Depending on the subject, they can be personal or formal, long or short, detailed or concise, funny or serious, informative or persuasive.
I feel that a good essay isn't so much about how it's written, it's more about how much the author cares about the topic. I think that if the essayist is deeply interested in or cares about his/her topic, a good essay will be the end product of the writing process. An author that is not interested in writing about a certain subject will produce an essay that isn't thought provoking or interesting. I really feel that the author has to be invested in the essay topic. Essays written by interested authors will usually either make the reader think, paint a vivid picture, persuade the reader, or just keep the audience interested.
I think my essay needs a more personal feel. I feel like there are a lot of opportunities for creativity with the certain subject I'm writing this essay about (animal rights, more specifically, vegetarianism). Since I am a vegetarian myself, I can add personal experiences, or things I have observed since taking up this lifestyle. I want to keep my audience (meat-eaters) interested and compelled to read more. I think this can be accomplished by adding facts and certain figures from my research. I'm not necessarily trying to persuade all the meat-eaters of the world to never eat meat again (although that would be awesome), I'm just trying to inform them of a topic that I care about and am interested in.
I feel that a good essay isn't so much about how it's written, it's more about how much the author cares about the topic. I think that if the essayist is deeply interested in or cares about his/her topic, a good essay will be the end product of the writing process. An author that is not interested in writing about a certain subject will produce an essay that isn't thought provoking or interesting. I really feel that the author has to be invested in the essay topic. Essays written by interested authors will usually either make the reader think, paint a vivid picture, persuade the reader, or just keep the audience interested.
I think my essay needs a more personal feel. I feel like there are a lot of opportunities for creativity with the certain subject I'm writing this essay about (animal rights, more specifically, vegetarianism). Since I am a vegetarian myself, I can add personal experiences, or things I have observed since taking up this lifestyle. I want to keep my audience (meat-eaters) interested and compelled to read more. I think this can be accomplished by adding facts and certain figures from my research. I'm not necessarily trying to persuade all the meat-eaters of the world to never eat meat again (although that would be awesome), I'm just trying to inform them of a topic that I care about and am interested in.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Feedback
I just finished reading Professor Scott's feedback to my research proposal. First off, I think the layout of the feedback was really helpful. Instead of just a big long paragraph explaining my strengths and weaknesses, the comments on the side of what I wrote in the proposal pinpointed specific problem areas and strengths. I think that will be a great and helpful tool when it comes time to revise.
I also thought Professor Scott gave a nice balance of comments concerning what I did well and what could use some improvement. When I finished reading her comments, I was satisfied with the job I did and confident that I could sufficiently revise some problem areas. If the comments were too positive, I wouldn't know what to revise for the final portfolio. However, if the comments were all negative, I would feel like I didn't do a good enough job and be tempted to just try and write the whole thing over.
I also thought her comments were accurate. She agreed with me as to what area I thought could use some more work (project methodology). I will be sure to give that section extra revising for the final portfolio.
I also thought Professor Scott gave a nice balance of comments concerning what I did well and what could use some improvement. When I finished reading her comments, I was satisfied with the job I did and confident that I could sufficiently revise some problem areas. If the comments were too positive, I wouldn't know what to revise for the final portfolio. However, if the comments were all negative, I would feel like I didn't do a good enough job and be tempted to just try and write the whole thing over.
I also thought her comments were accurate. She agreed with me as to what area I thought could use some more work (project methodology). I will be sure to give that section extra revising for the final portfolio.
Weekly Blog
Using the class blog for a little bit of inspiration, I decided to focus this week's blog on the question: "What important decisions do writers make when they approaching a writing task?"
I think one of the most important decisions is simple: deciding what to write about. However, this goes far beyond just selecting a topic. It is about choosing a topic that interests you, a topic that you know something about, and a topic that can be written about clearly. I think a sign of weak writing is straying from the purpose, so the writer needs to have a focused, clear topic/purpose before he starts to write.
I also believe another decision writers make is how they should write (their style). Should it be persuasive? Informative? Informal? Formal? The tone of the writing impacts the way the audience views the work. An essay about the serious health effects of smoking, for example, should be approached informatively, with a serious tone. If the essay was written informally, using lots of informal words and sarcasm, the audience wouldn't walk away from the essay the same way they would have had it been written formally. Writers consistently need to keep in mind who their audience is throughout the whole writing process.
I think one of the most important decisions is simple: deciding what to write about. However, this goes far beyond just selecting a topic. It is about choosing a topic that interests you, a topic that you know something about, and a topic that can be written about clearly. I think a sign of weak writing is straying from the purpose, so the writer needs to have a focused, clear topic/purpose before he starts to write.
I also believe another decision writers make is how they should write (their style). Should it be persuasive? Informative? Informal? Formal? The tone of the writing impacts the way the audience views the work. An essay about the serious health effects of smoking, for example, should be approached informatively, with a serious tone. If the essay was written informally, using lots of informal words and sarcasm, the audience wouldn't walk away from the essay the same way they would have had it been written formally. Writers consistently need to keep in mind who their audience is throughout the whole writing process.
Essays
Before responding to the essays we were assigned to read, I would just like to define what I think an essay is. From past English classes and writing experience, I believe that an essay is a succinct, yet detailed piece of writing which conveys some sort of experience, emotion, or point of view. I feel that an essayist writes an essay not to prove something or force an idea on someone, but to simply elaborate on some sort of issue or event that he/she feels strongly about. For that reason an essay can get quite emotional. Not exactly a Merriam-Webster type definition, but I think it'll do.
"The Stunt Pilot"- I think this is a strong essay for a few reasons. First, it is artfully detailed without being too long. From my experience, essays are never very long yet still use detail to keep the reader's interest. I found Dillard's description of the way Rahm flew a plane: "Rahm did everything his plane could do: tailspins, four-point rolls, flat spins, figure eights, snap rolls, and hammerheads. He did pirouettes on the plane's tail. The other pilots could do these stunts too, skillfully, one at a time. But Rahm used the plane inexhaustibly, like a brush marking thin air" (169). Dillard uses techniques like similes (like a brush marking thin air) to paint a vivid picture in the reader's mind of what the plane looks like soaring through the air.
I also think this is an effective essay because it is emotional. It is difficult to write a strong essay if you do not feel passionate or at least interested in the subject. Dillard seems truly emotionally invested in the subject of her essay. She was inspired and in a way almost mystified at the artistic beauty of Rahm's flying. She was also affected by Rahm's death and made her appreciate the quality of his flying even more.
"Ali in Havana"- I believe this to also be a strong essay. Obviously, the evidence of carefully chosen detail is quite obvious. He is able to create a character's personality and quirks in just a few sentences: "Ed Bradley is a gracious but reserved individualist who has appeared on television for a decade with his left earlobe pierced by a small circular ring -- which, after some unfavorable comment initially expressed by his colleagues Mike Wallace and Andy Rooney, prompted Bradley's explanation: 'It's my ear' (268). From this sentence alone we get a visual picture of Ed, as well as stubborn, "it's-my-life" kind of attitude.
Also, this event must have affected Talese in some way, be it the awkward humor or the tension of this odd situation. Talese is not trying to push a certain idea or way of thinking on his audience. Instead, he is simply sharing this experience with his reader. He does this effectively by using detail and conveying emotion.
Unfortunately I was not able to read "Silent Dancing." For some reason, as stated on the course blog, it would not show up on my computer. I tried it on my roommate's computer as well, but I didn't get anything there either.
"The Stunt Pilot"- I think this is a strong essay for a few reasons. First, it is artfully detailed without being too long. From my experience, essays are never very long yet still use detail to keep the reader's interest. I found Dillard's description of the way Rahm flew a plane: "Rahm did everything his plane could do: tailspins, four-point rolls, flat spins, figure eights, snap rolls, and hammerheads. He did pirouettes on the plane's tail. The other pilots could do these stunts too, skillfully, one at a time. But Rahm used the plane inexhaustibly, like a brush marking thin air" (169). Dillard uses techniques like similes (like a brush marking thin air) to paint a vivid picture in the reader's mind of what the plane looks like soaring through the air.
I also think this is an effective essay because it is emotional. It is difficult to write a strong essay if you do not feel passionate or at least interested in the subject. Dillard seems truly emotionally invested in the subject of her essay. She was inspired and in a way almost mystified at the artistic beauty of Rahm's flying. She was also affected by Rahm's death and made her appreciate the quality of his flying even more.
"Ali in Havana"- I believe this to also be a strong essay. Obviously, the evidence of carefully chosen detail is quite obvious. He is able to create a character's personality and quirks in just a few sentences: "Ed Bradley is a gracious but reserved individualist who has appeared on television for a decade with his left earlobe pierced by a small circular ring -- which, after some unfavorable comment initially expressed by his colleagues Mike Wallace and Andy Rooney, prompted Bradley's explanation: 'It's my ear' (268). From this sentence alone we get a visual picture of Ed, as well as stubborn, "it's-my-life" kind of attitude.
Also, this event must have affected Talese in some way, be it the awkward humor or the tension of this odd situation. Talese is not trying to push a certain idea or way of thinking on his audience. Instead, he is simply sharing this experience with his reader. He does this effectively by using detail and conveying emotion.
Unfortunately I was not able to read "Silent Dancing." For some reason, as stated on the course blog, it would not show up on my computer. I tried it on my roommate's computer as well, but I didn't get anything there either.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Group workshop
I thought the group workshop process last Friday was very helpful. I thought it as interesting to hear what the other group members decided to research. Dentistry, aviation, and show jumping were some of the diverse topics that we talked about.
I think my group moved really effectively out of the "I'm too polite and don't know you well enough to give you constructive criticism" stage that we all know too well. That stage is not only awkward, but makes group work a waste of time because everyone is not concerned enough with the quality of writing. Our group not only gave each other constructive criticism on issues like the audience and effective research methodology, but also praised each other on things we did well.
I think a way to make the next workshop even better would be to maybe create a check sheet of criteria that the piece of writing we are evaluating should have. That way, each group member could work down the list and see if the writing they are evaluating meets the important criteria. But all in all, the feedback I received helped me out quite a lot!
I think my group moved really effectively out of the "I'm too polite and don't know you well enough to give you constructive criticism" stage that we all know too well. That stage is not only awkward, but makes group work a waste of time because everyone is not concerned enough with the quality of writing. Our group not only gave each other constructive criticism on issues like the audience and effective research methodology, but also praised each other on things we did well.
I think a way to make the next workshop even better would be to maybe create a check sheet of criteria that the piece of writing we are evaluating should have. That way, each group member could work down the list and see if the writing they are evaluating meets the important criteria. But all in all, the feedback I received helped me out quite a lot!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Debate time
As I write this I am watching the presidential debate. I have to say I never closely watched debates from past elections, and if I did watch them it was only for school or at the begging of my parents.
I'm happy to say that this year though, I have been watching the debates enthusiastically. I am surprised at how much I actually enjoy watching them. I suppose this is because I am able to vote this year, and I want to fully understand the views of both candidates.
I'm also proud to mention that I am a HUGE McCain fan! He will be getting my vote (and I would vote for him twice if I could) on the fourth.
The only issue is that my roommate is an Obama supporter. And I have to say the looks she gives me when I criticize Obama's points during this debate are pretty awkward...
Question for you readers: McCain or Obama? feel free to comment =)
PS: My proposal is done! I submitted it to Professor Scott and she received it free of technological issues! (thankfully)
Honestly, I am really happy with how the final copy of my proposal turned out. I think I was clear with what I wanted out of the research, and I also think I was able to create an informative and effective background to my proposed research. I think a helpful exercise was one we did in class last week, when we listed all of the qualities we thought were in an effective research proposal. I definitely had those in mind as I wrote mine!
One struggle I encountered, however, was the research methodology. I found it difficult to decide how much detail to include about how to carry out the proposed research. I ended up detailing what kind of questions were in my research surveys and who I would send each survey to.
I'm happy to say that this year though, I have been watching the debates enthusiastically. I am surprised at how much I actually enjoy watching them. I suppose this is because I am able to vote this year, and I want to fully understand the views of both candidates.
I'm also proud to mention that I am a HUGE McCain fan! He will be getting my vote (and I would vote for him twice if I could) on the fourth.
The only issue is that my roommate is an Obama supporter. And I have to say the looks she gives me when I criticize Obama's points during this debate are pretty awkward...
Question for you readers: McCain or Obama? feel free to comment =)
PS: My proposal is done! I submitted it to Professor Scott and she received it free of technological issues! (thankfully)
Honestly, I am really happy with how the final copy of my proposal turned out. I think I was clear with what I wanted out of the research, and I also think I was able to create an informative and effective background to my proposed research. I think a helpful exercise was one we did in class last week, when we listed all of the qualities we thought were in an effective research proposal. I definitely had those in mind as I wrote mine!
One struggle I encountered, however, was the research methodology. I found it difficult to decide how much detail to include about how to carry out the proposed research. I ended up detailing what kind of questions were in my research surveys and who I would send each survey to.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Proposals
I'm just about finished on the final copy of my research proposal. I am actually quite happy with it! I was surprised at how easily ideas came to me, I guess it's because I was writing about a topic that really interests me. Today I had my conference, and I think it went well. I cleared up a few issues that I was having trouble with, like writing an effective conclusion for the proposal. I learned that in the conclusion, a question you could answer is "in the future, what could be done with the results of this study?"
I hope everyone had a great weekend!
I hope everyone had a great weekend!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Research proposals and sorbet...
I'm just about done writing the rough draft of my research proposal. I started one on Monday but I wasn't really happy with it so I erased that one and started a new one. Thankfully I haven't had many problems writing the new draft, I was actually surprised at how easy ideas came to me.
Some food news: On a totally irrelevant note, during my Walmart outing this weekend I bought some mango sorbet, and I think it is the best thing ever. Anyone agree?
Some food news: On a totally irrelevant note, during my Walmart outing this weekend I bought some mango sorbet, and I think it is the best thing ever. Anyone agree?
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